Chosen Family

I thought you were the one that taught me about chosen family. That you introduced me to the notion that I could choose the people I keep close to me. That family didn’t always have to mean by blood. Maybe I believed that because I loved your family so much and how they raised you. Because they welcomed me in with open arms. Because I finally felt warmth and comfort in their stability. Their consistency.

Alas, I was mistaken.

I had chosen family all along. The consistency and stability that I had always longed for was right in front of me– it was within me. We were kids then. I’ve held onto the fact that we grew up together. But I also grew up with my girls. They stayed by my side through all of my phases. They were here before you. They stayed after you. And I know in my heart and soul that no matter what, we will be in each other’s lives forever. They are my chosen family. They’ve always been my chosen family. I feel safe and secure with them. I know they love me for who I am just as much as I love them for who they are. That’s the beauty of girlhood. That’s the beauty of feeling secure enough with yourself that you can allow others in. That’s the beauty of honesty.

Through our awkward tween stage, through our angsty self-sabotaging teen years, our current honest and raw messy early 20s, and beyond– we have stuck by each other’s side. That is what true love and care is. It was never you and it never will be. I thought you were the answer all of these years, that you would save me. But I now realize that the act of you leaving my life saved me. I saved me. They saved me. My chosen family is mine to create and nurture and you have no part in it. You were just a small blip in what will be an extraordinary life. Full of love, full of midnight convos that last til dawn, full of random side quests and morning coffees, strangers and friends, art and adventures.

Because my life started the moment you left it and it is mine to live.