The Existentialism of a Fifteen Year-Old Girl

Will I be able to accomplish what I want? Do I even know what I want to do with my years on this Earth? Can I leave an impact on the world? Will I invent something revolutionary? Will my words change the way people think? Will I be able to get my words out into the world? Will I have enough courage? Am I asking too many questions? Is there such thing as too many questions? Can there be too many questions in this world? Am I too young to be thinking this way? Or am I too late? What will my future consist of? Failure, success, depression, suicide, murder, growth, happiness, family, school, lovers, hope, death, anything and everything? Should I not be focusing on the bigger picture? Is the picture I’m picturing the wrong image? Is the big mansion looking over the city in my head real? Will I allow myself to fail? Or will I allow myself to succeed? Rather than hoping for happiness, should I be aspiring for satisfaction? Is it acceptable to start my independent life right now? Am I too young to want to make a living already? Am I too mature? Am I not doing anything productive? Am I acting lazy? Will I be able to start soon? Will I be able to start putting myself out there already? Will the opportunities I come across help me? Am I thinking too much? Am I starting off on the wrong foot here? Am I even on the right track? Does is matter? Does anything I do right now have any effect on my future? Is it okay that I don’t have any written down goals? If I died tomorrow, what would everyone think? How would I have impacted the people in my life? Is it normal to ask? Is it okay to ask any of these questions? Will anyone ever read all of this? If you are reading this, how are you? Have I impacted you in any way, shape, or form? Am I important to you? At all? If no one is reading this other than me, then Christine, how are you doing? Will I ever be impactful? Will I ever love anyone more than I love myself? Will I ever get rid of all of my insecurities? Can I live a life rid of any negative energy? Can I live a life that I’m proud of? Will I ever tell someone all of my secrets? Should I? Will I ever uncover some big mystery? Will I ever know the truth about how we got here? Will I ever know the truth about God? Will I ever know all of the secrets the government has kept from us? Will I ever get married? Will I ever birth children? Will I ever love my body? Will I ever talk to a therapist? Will I ever completely open up to my mother? Will my mother ever be sober? Will the world ever be peaceful? Will Trump get impeached? Will he die soon? Will I ever witness the first female president? Will I be the first female president of the United States? Will I ever meet Obama? How many languages will I ever learn? When will I find my true self? When will I be comfortable in my own skin? What will I study? Can I become one of the smartest people ever existed? Can I raise my children to be the best versions of themselves? Who will I spend my life with? What are they doing at this very moment? Have I met them already? Should I even question that? Will any of these questions be answered? When? Did I have a past life? If so, who was I? When will the people of Earth meet extraterrestrials? Have we already? Do we live amongst beings from another planet? How about another universe? Is time travel real? Will I ever be able to time travel? Will I ever be a part of a scientific breakthrough? Will I ever discover something? Anything? Will I ever come across a day where I am 100% satisfied with my life? Will World War III occur during my lifetime? What happens after you die? Will my generation be the first to be cloned? Has anyone ever been cloned before? What can I do to better my future right now? How can I do everything I want to do? Will I be financially stable as an adult? Will I ever fight anyone? Will I be able to protect myself and my family in the future? Will I ever go to space? Will I ever walk on the moon? Will The Purge ever become legal? Will I be able to visit every country in the world? Will I be able to explore the depths of the ocean? Will I be able to love my significant other unconditionally? Will I be able to be mentally and physically healthy to achieve my goals in life?