19 Days til 20

I can’t remember the last time I took a bath. Life has gotten ahead of me. Perhaps it is time to get ahead of life. I’ve spent 10 years in these double digits, existing as a double digit. Excitement for what the next year would hold.

It’s time to say goodbye to one.

Precious one. Oh, how you’ve held my hand through the wretched and through the bliss. I have spent twenty whole years breathing in fresh and questionable air. That’s twenty whole years around the sun. Although I’ve been around the sun twenty times, I still don’t know her entirety. The sun is historically masculine, I learned recently. And the moon; feminine. I look up to both of them, I always have, every day and every night. When I wake up at dawn and slumber at dusk. Because it is Spring once more, the sun and the moon are soon to be in balance once again. It is time for the sun to rise. My skin has stretched, my flesh has grown. New lines and dots, rolls and folds. The moon tells me it’s all more to love. The sun tells me it’s more to shine. My brain tells me I should’ve stayed small.

I do miss being one. Perhaps a foot or two tall. In my Strawberry Shortcake nightgown, pink and white eyelet hat. Eating a grape tootsie pop on the stairwell leading to our old apartment. Standing in between my real Sun and my real Moon. I smile at both. Giggle with them giggling at me. I was so small at one. I miss being that small. But the moon and the sun are proud of how big I’ve gotten. They tell me I should be proud too.

Alas, it is time to say goodbye to my precious one.